I reminisce

Several years ago, my mom’s oldest sister, Aunt Carolyn came to visit for the Christmas holiday.  Being newly retired she was eager to spread her wings and see the blue yonder by way of Greyhound bus.  A 30-hour trip in total from Florida to Texas.    

I remember trying to fully dissuade her from the arduous bus ride for several reasons, one, in my mind air travel was the most expedient mode of transportation, and two she was not very intimate with her cell phone.  And even though promising to call as she got closer to Houston I still worried. 

Aunt Carolyn however, had a fond affection for the Greyhound bus, or as she liked to call it “the hound.”  As a girl she and my mom would board the bus and spend summers visiting relatives in Waterbury Connecticut.  So, some of her excitement for the trip was engrossed in reliving a childhood memory. 

True to her word during layovers she called from two places, Jacksonville and her favorite city, New Orleans, the Big Easy.  At this point her excitement was a full-on 10!  Each time she called she gave a brief summation of the trip highs and lows in all of 3 minutes.  Being that this stop was one step closer to her final destination, she confirmed her estimated time of arrival (ETA), and set off to reboard for the remaining six hour journey to Houston.      

Aunt Carolyn’s ETA was 8:00 pm.  I tried calling several times to make sure the bus was on schedule but to no avail.  Again, I worried.  The best thing I knew to do was to leave early and wait for the bus to arrive. 

After a one-hour car wait and her phone going straight to voice mail I went inside the station for answers.  The attendant casually noted that the bus was two hours late which meant I had another full hour to wait.  As most people know bus stations are generally in a part of town that appears to be ok during the day however nightfall is a completely different story.  And Houston is no exception.  This is definitely not an area that anyone concerned about safety should be, past 10:00 pm.  Taking my own advice, I chose to wait it out inside the station. 

The good news is she finally made it!  In between our hugs and greetings, she noted that her cellphone died shortly after leaving New Orleans.  Forgetting all about my two hour wait the only thing that mattered most was her presence and that she survived the trip still remarkably happy. 

Aunt Carolyn has always been a happy go lucky person.  The only thing that I can remember that got her down occasionally was not spending enough time with her son and grandson.  Outside of that she enjoyed life.  She loved to laugh and loved to make others laugh.  Sometimes we laughed just because she laughed, it was a unique laugh that sounded like it came from the pit of her belly.   She probably should have been a comedian; she really had a gift.       

That year for Xmas we spent time with our Florida/ Texas family.  She cooked and made her specialty dishes, sweet potato pies and cornbread dressing.  Her bus ride stories ended up being the highlight of our family time, people were in awe that she struck out on her own, her and “the hound” and did things her way. 

In the remaining days of her visit, we toured the city and did sightseeing things around Houston.  I asked if there was anything she wanted to see or do before leaving.  Her three requests were to eat Mexican food, barbeque, and to find her a cowboy to take back to Florida.  All of her requests were met with the exception the latter.  The closest she came to the cowboy was a picture with security at the barbeque restaurant, which no doubt made her smile uncontrollably.  After taking the picture her only request was that I text it to all her girlfriends back in Florida who loved every minute of it. 

This year there will be no Christmas holidays spent with Aunt Carolyn.  Not because of the coronavirus but because she died from a battle with cancer two years ago.

Strangely enough holidays are a reminder of loved ones that have left indelible impressions.  Unbeknownst to her she taught me many life lessons.  At the top of the list is, showing kindness and never holding a grudge.  There were certainly times she probably could have held grudges on many occasions but chose not to do so.  Channeling her spirit as I get older, I’ve learned that it’s a heck of a lot easier to let it go and just move on.     

So, as I reminisce about Aunt Carolyn, I am reminded that God seems to always take the good ones.  And what I know for sure is with Carolyn Joyce Oliver Hall, he certainly got the best pick of the litter.

Greyhound Bus Station - Houston Texas

Much to do about a scarf

Usually whenever there is coolness in the air, I am reminded of how much I love layering for wintry weather with scarves and pashminas.  Here again I find myself bitterly lusting after things I miss dearly such as the simplicity of a prized accessory.        

Never in a million years did I think I would yearn for something as elementary as a damn scarf!  Maybe it’s because, my scarves and I have history together, we have traveled near and far, from China to Canada and all points in between.  They have served me well in all aspects of life including events such as parties, holidays and even funerals, my scarves have been my consistent ride or die. 

What I have appreciated about scarves throughout the years is not only do they add a pop of color, but they can be an instant mood booster.  And always seem to compliment any outfit be it dressed up or dressed down. 

Aside from owning fifteen or so in total, all have gotten their “fair share of wear” (try saying that 5 times).  There are probably some that I do favor more than others and also some colors that are much more versatile.  Take for instance my trip to China some years ago, for whatever reason the yellow scarf seemed to blend in with everything brought along for the 10-day trip.  From sightseeing in Beijing and Shanghai to touring the Great Wall of China, this scarf served its role as master chameleon while blending in with all the beauty and wonderment of being a tourist.        

And as mentioned earlier, scarves are a great holiday accessory.  Generally, once a year the “hubs” (husband) and I, along with my kinfolk from Florida that live in Texas plan a destination Christmas.  A few years back we spent time bonding and relaxing at the Gaylord in Dallas.  The cool thing about this venue is if Xmas is your thing than this is the place for you, maybe not this year but still in all a worthwhile experience.  Holidays at the Gaylord are exceptional, this place houses a ton of fanfare for all to enjoy and the buffets are absolutely sinful! 

So, for this family getaway, I packed my go-to teal scarf.  Truthfully, this scarf is the business!  Not only does this scarf give me absolute life but it also happens to be one of my favorite colors and works well with any holiday adornment.       

The Gaylord

Actually, I could go on and on about my obsession of scarves.  However, this season looks a lot different.  My scarves will not get a lot of use like before, things have definitely changed!  Earlier this month I wore a scarf once and that was for curb-side pick-up at Target. 

This year has proven that it is like none other.  There will be no holiday family gatherings, no planned vacations, or a venue with lights and decorations that cause me to be awestruck.  In preparation for my staycation Xmas, the only thing I know to do is to keep repeating that this too shall pass.  The burning question is WHEN? 

Unboxed and Unbothered

Over the last three weeks I have engaged with teaching my students about the Civil Rights Movement. Being that this was such a tumultuous time in history, this is a period packed with raw emotion so much so that this era parallels with some of the same topics of today from voting rights to police brutality.    

Another topic associated with this period that always causes me to pause is school segregation and Brown v. Board of Education decision.  In the 1950s this case made it all the way to the SCOTUS in which school segregation was struck down based upon evidence proven by a Doll Test.  What this test demonstrated is that segregation caused Black children to not feel good about themselves which caused low self-esteem, psychological damage and created an inferiority complex that could infringe on their ability to learn when kept separate from white children (let that sink in…that’s a lot to digest).  

IMO, the Doll Test being used as a segue to integration was a misstep on so many levels.  What this test denoted was an agreement for those Black kids to lose their own identity and be subjected to the ways and means of the dominant culture.  In other words, “come with us only we can save you”, and in the process while you are being saved forget everything that you have been taught for “our way is best.”  Sad thing is even today kids are still socialized to believe in this false narrative of “white is right” syndrome. 

Some years ago, Anderson Cooper did a reenactment of the Doll Test with modern day school age kids, ranging in ages from 4-5 and 9-10.  What was discovered even though circumstances are different and most schools are integrated, is that a great number of students still gravitate to the darker skin dolls as being “less than” and or the bad actors and the whiter complexion dolls as being “better than” and or the good actors.  The most disheartening thing to watch was children of other ethnicities, in a similar Doll Test veering towards the same concept that Black and Brown dolls were bad.  In addition, almost unanimous across the board the fairer skin dolls were chosen as the winner in the eyes of the kids and always as “the beautiful ones.” 

Recently a student in class shared his experience of being raised and educated in the suburbs.  His parents moved there because that district provided a better education and was high achieving.  Because English was not his first language, he was placed in mostly Spanish speaking classes until his English-speaking skills were deemed acceptable to congregate with the masses.  What he relayed to the class was this encounter caused him to feel less accepted and also sparked a deep desperation and desire to “fit in” all the more.  The other thing he mentioned was that he felt the only way to feel accepted was to embrace “whiteness” even down to his class exercise of mock voting where students got to choose their presidential candidate Barak Obama or Mitt Romney in which he chose Romney.  Later he discussed the class exercise with his mom who questioned his candidate selection, here he justified his decision by saying that he had never seen a Black person in a position of power and chose to select what he had always known to be “right” which was to lean on the side of whiteness. 

All too often it is expected that conformity is the way, the truth, and the light.  We are often taught in this society that we are not multi-layered and that we must pick a side.  Truth be told I don’t think most of us are monolithic, it is a known fact that one size does not fit all or even most.  There are times where even I struggle with this one, a black woman, raised by parents from the civil rights era, raised in a small predominately white town, Vero Beach Florida, with interest that lie in being deeply passionate about teaching true uncensored history and is sidebar obsessed with fashion, style, culture and hip hop.  So, with all of that being said how do I pick a side?  These are all things that have shaped my experience in one way or another and each one has a story of its own but by chance they make me who I am a living breathing human making her way through this universe.

And while I know there are a lot of people dog-earing copies of the books How to be Anti-Racist, The Caste System and White Fragility…yes this is all good.  Yet another space to examine is to dismantle placing people in a box.  We must create those spaces that allow folks, little people included to tap into each and every fiber that allow them to be exactly who they are and who they were meant to be.  Let’s stop placing people in a box for ego sake so that we can feel comfortable around them.  We must be ok with people as they are, and we have to stop this ridiculousness that one flavor is adaptable for all.  “F” this imaginary box!  Brown v. Board is evidence enough that it was only the illusion of inclusion, it didn’t work then, and it certainly is not working now!

Ode to Aretha

Over the weekend I slowed down the tempo to the equivalence of a DJ Screw mix tape.

I disconnected from mainstream media news and instead tackled things on my to-do list like closet purging and organizing all while trying to block out thoughts of the upcoming holiday.     

While closet cleaning is stressful enough feel good music is the ingredient that makes it all better.  Truthfully speaking nobody has the ability to make you feel good down to the pinky toe other than the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin.  Alexa being the DJ and as fast as she shuffled the songs, I got in the groove starting with Dr. Feelgood and ten songs later ended with Rock Steady.  

At the moment anything “feel-good” seems almost long forgotten, and so last year.  In some regard I almost think once this veil is lifted that I will need a full refresher course on what it means to have joy again.  With the mound of turmoil in front and some behind, I almost wonder if joy has been reduced to small day to day victories like remaining sane, comfort eating, listening to good music and conjuring up happy thoughts.    

What I know for sure is trying to figure out life and what’s to come takes massive amounts of energy so much so that it just seems less hectic to only focus on the day at hand.  Funny thing is in this worry less, slow-down approach, which is where I am at the moment, the jury is still out on how long this will last, but while I’m here at this place of semi-stillness I will embrace it even if ends sooner than later.    

In the meantime, for my friends and family that will be distancing from loved ones, and just want something that feels good, try tapping into some heart felt soul stirring music over the upcoming holiday.  I’d suggest Lady Aretha’s first album I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You  and Alexa is happy to oblige any request.  This album is storytelling Aretha, whose voice is such a solace at the moment and aside from being the G.O.A.T is an addition to our lives and also the goodness that we didn’t know we needed in 2020.    

2020...A Wild Ride

So last week was clearly the longest week ever!  It was a week that encapsulated a tsunami of emotions covered in sleep deprivation.

And to be completely fair I still don’t know how to feel other than just plain tired.  If I’m being completely transparent here my tiredness is not just attached to this election and lack of sleep, my tiredness is entrenched in the last 8 months of 2020!   

To try to put my exhaustion into perspective the only thing that comes to mind is Disney World.   

Growing up in Florida our yearly family vacation was always Magic Kingdom.  Truthfully, for me there was not much excitement associated with our one-day trek to this amusement park for the umpteenth time outside of a couple of rides.  One in particular being Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.  While most people gravitate to Disney for the roller coaster rides such as Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain, I have never cared much for rides at theme parks specifically those that come with health and safety warnings and cause my stomach to react to chaotic motion.  My preference has always been rides that move at slow to moderate speeds. 

What I can say about Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride is it was filled with unforeseen dangers and suspense lurking at every turn, very similar to 2020.  The start of this buggy-style cart adventure is slow and steady.  Riders are whisked through a replica of a castle with extremely dim lighting, and into an array or rooms with doors that close and down long hallways. 

Aside from this ride having a few jerks, twists and turns there is no immediate danger like the other faster moving rides which in my mind pose the risk of passengers being ejected and in addition requires good health and a strong heart.  Throughout the ride there is distinct scenery and sounds to take in, and before the ride-goer can fully digest the contents and be frightened just enough, a new scene awaits.  Some of the scenes include a court room with a demented looking judge, a jail and of course the police.  There was even a moment where the lights switch from overly dim to pitch-blackness and a train emerges with lights glaring through the darkness headed straight for the cart.  And before the rider can let out a gasp the cart does a quick turn and it is on to the next scene change ending with what else…but a depiction of Hell, equipped with demons, pits of fire and Satan. 

For me, most of this year is reminiscent of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.  The last 8 months have been filled with slow moving darkness with much unpleasant scenery, obstacles, and backdrops to take in along the way.  From the deaths of Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, Rayshard Brooks and the shooting of Jacob Blake to name a few.  We have certainly been overwhelmed with police brutality from February to August of this year alone!  In addition, we’ve had to deal with the divisiveness of the country in patrician politics all at the helm of an autocratic, fascist, bigoted, xenophobic, minded leader.  And charging at us with the high speed of a locomotive are two viruses Corona and racism, running rampant and headed straight for collision.         

So EF Yeah, I’m overjoyed to see a changing of the guard and a new administration ready to serve “we the people!”  But it will take me some time to process and embrace this change.  And now, myself and so many others, must sort out the heavy emotions from the hovering residue and nurse the wounds from the trauma left behind.  The last 4 years with all of its civil unrest at times have felt like a scene from Hell!  Truthfully, I am mentally drained, this has been a ride that I would like to soon forget…

Election Anxiety...

As I tiptoe into November I do so full of reluctance and lack of fervor.

Some of my despondency rests upon the state of complete chaos of our nation and the other portion is due in part to the outcome of the last election.

For some, the last election 4 years ago is in the distant past however for me lately I have been having a plethora of flashbacks in which old feelings have resurfaced from that presidential race.  What I remember most is afterwards there was a sting, and it was not due to the person I chose not winning but it was something more, indescribable no less and it hurt!  It felt like a gut punch, not even like a toe stubbed in the middle of the night but something deeper and memorable that would take some time to process and heal from, that kind of sting.  Like seeing your ex with a new bae and to add insult to injury the ex is wearing a shirt that you bought, yes…that kind of sting, not life threatening of course but a serious ass blow!  Full stop…period!

Needless to say, I slept very little that night.  There was a lot of tossing and turning, thinking, and rethinking of what was to come.  Before rolling out of bed the next morning and attempting to start the day I remember giving myself a pep talk and even tried to mentally find a happy place.  And in trying to secure that happy place what I did realize in that moment was there would be a need for many more pep talks to get me through the next 4 years of unexpectancy and uncertainty.  Although that talk with myself didn’t make me feel any better it was the reality check that was needed to give me the push to get out of bed make coffee and grab the morning paper from the front lawn.

Truthfully, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone, but I heard my name as soon as I got in motion.  Surprisingly, it was my neighbor from across the street he waved, and I followed.  He and I had talked politics a time or two and although we were on opposite ends of the spectrum, we were cordial.  He comes to the edge of the driveway with a serious look and offered an apology “about last night” (election night) he proceeds to add that he voted the way he did because of his loyalty to his party.  Admittingly I was floored by his candor, I assured him that he owed me no apology and that it was not my duty to vote-shame.  What I wanted to say to my neighbor was we were all in it together good or bad we would have to endure and see it through.  He looked relieved at my response, he waved, and our conversation ended.   

TBH I have replayed that conversation multiple times recently because here we are again…on the precipice of another pivotal election.  I’m concerned about the day after the election and how things will all play out, it’s even crossed my mind if this will pan out like Groundhog’s Day reliving the election and me interfacing with the neighbor again as I retrieve the morning paper.  What if the ticket I voted for doesn’t win again?  What does that mean for myself mentally and the people I care about?  What will it mean to have to endure 4 more years of the continued rhetoric of negativity with no regard for human life, not to mention bigotry, racism, stereotypes and unequal treatment of marginalized groups and no immediate plans for the containment of the Corona virus?  WHAT WILL IT ALL MEAN & WHAT’S TO COME?

As I have confessed, November has me shook! And as a historian knowing and teaching history limits my optimism.  But what I will say is history has shown that we’ve been here before and, in many cases, the same issues that I mentioned earlier have occurred under some administration in the past.  My concern as a country is, we should always strive to progress and not regress back to what America was but more to what America can and should become.  I do know that change does not happen overnight, it is a slow-slow process in which the overall challenge is having conversations that encourage critical thinking this is what is most needed for us to evolve and grow and become better. 

I tap into the strength of the universe that the results this time will be favorable for the ticket that I supported.  And most of all if this does happen, I do hope the opportunity will present itself and I run into my neighbor.  There will be no apology on my end just a few simple words to readdress the conversation he initiated 4 years ago, the day after the election.  I would relay that I am not loyal to a party however I would let him know that I am loyal to human life and I choose the party that best aligns with what I stand for and that encompasses the needs of the people that I care about most.  That being my immediate family parents and aunts, cousins and friends that have preexisting conditions and comorbidities and are BIPOC which makes them vulnerable to the virus.  And lastly, I even care about him and his wife that are baby boomers…and susceptible just the same but who I happen to consider my fellow man.  That’s the America that I want to be a part of one that sees a human first and could give a shit about a party!  But has a strong concern for humanity over party.  That is what’s most important to me regardless of who wins or loses these are the principals that I will stand on for the next 4 years and thereafter.

Finding fall...

So the beauty of October is the wishfulness of fall, and from all the years of living in Houston fall is nothing short of an illusion.  In addition to this facade comes the bombardment of all things pumpkin, from pumpkin patches to pumpkin pie to the dreaded “Karen” pumpkin spice lattes.  In spite of, the one highlight that I have always looked forward to during this season has always been a Halloween costume.

Many years ago, my sister had a Halloween themed birthday party, and at the last minute I created a homemade costume.  The only problem with this idea was there was really no inspiration involved just some hijacked pieces from my mother including a wig, a purse, a necklace, and some makeup.  And to complete the look for this unscripted ensemble I relied on my own closet dig for whatever else made sense. 

The finished product was a hodgepodge of sorts, not only did I look like mama from mama’s family but turns out I was completely unrecognizable.  So much so that my own grandmother greeted me with a dry “how do you do ma’am” as she sashayed by.  Eventually I did reveal to my grandmother and the rest of the party goers that it was indeed “me” under all of the many layers of randomness, perhaps it’s the teacher in me but as I look back at those party pictures of my jr. high school self I am reminded of the lessons involved in this Halloween creation. 

Unmistakenly these lessons transition greatly to the day-to-day of getting dressed:

Trying new things, being that I was pressed for time and my costume was done last minute I had no plan in mind initially and I went with the flow – mom’s grey wig and all.  In my day-to-day life I still try new things from a new shoe style to a new color choice, when trying new things options are limitless in moving away from our comfort zone. 

Forget rules, what I failed to mention was to complete my costume I layered a dress on top of pants.  Now that was a perfect finish!  When it comes to getting dressed oftentimes, we think of all the reasons why we can’t wear something that we had our heart set on – prime example white after Labor Day…says who????? Just do it dammit!!!! We have to stop looking for approval and wanting to abide by rules when it comes to getting dressed, from here on out take charge of your thinking and adopt the mantra “if it makes you feel good in it wear it”! Commit that to memory and please say it frequently…

Closet digs, although planned on the fly my costume was created without purchasing any items of clothing or accessories.  Being that retail shopping is more accessible than ever, and stores are all just a click away it can be very tempting to buy based on our mood and or a good sale.  The flip side to this is now that there is not much movement and most of us are working from home, this is the perfect time to explore our closets.  You may stumble onto something that you actually forgot about or a staple piece that if paired with the right accessory can create magic in the most gratifying way especially being that it wasn’t an added expense and was already in your possession. 

So as you try to enjoy the remaining days of October here’s hoping that you get reacquainted with the contents of your closet, who knows you may luck up on inspiration for a  Halloween party or dig out pieces for nowhere in particular.     

Until next time…wishing you much peace as we tiptoe into November!

New music...

Music has an uncanny ability to soothe the soul and make us forget our troubles.  And in the midst of the current unrest in our country there are days that I long for an escape and a semblance of hope.  Lately my semblance of hope has been in the form of music to aid in this sphere of isolation, I have discovered three songs that offer a beacon of light.    

In my household as a kid music was a shared experience, meaning whatever the grown folk bopped to, like it or not after hearing it enough times it became your jam.  With that being said I grew to like mostly everything including Blues and Bobby Blue Bland, but I digress Bobby Blue Bland will have to wait that’s a story for another day. 

One of my favorite artists that I grew to love was Stevie Wonder, from his rhythmic vocals to the harmonica, Stevie’s appreciation for music was infectious.  Recently Stevie Wonder released a new song “Can’t put it in the hands of fate” and for various reasons I cannot seem to get enough.  Maybe because this song is a hip-hop lover’s dream and features Rapsody and Busta Rhymes in tandem rapping as only they can with their added flair and recognizable voices.  Aside from the lyrics being on point with where we are in our world this is definitely raw – uncut Stevie and nothing like his infamous “Superstition, Isn’t she Lovely, and My Cherie Amour.”  Peep this…“You say that you believe that all lives matter, I say I don’t believe the f*ck you do.” Clutch your pearls chile’, Stevie is unfiltered, and I like it!

Two things my childhood experience taught me was an overall appreciation for music and the ability to home in on the lyrics and the type of story being shared with the listener.  A good storyteller is sort of an essayist and although I consider Jay-Z and Tupac to be masterful at their crafts, while in the car the other day I experienced a storytelling experience by a rapper and quickly Shazamed to revisit the lyrics.  And revisit I did, Lil Baby’s song “The Bigger Picture” reads like a well written essay.  Baby took me places that in the last few months I’ve tried to suppress but very much needed to tap into with the pain of George Floyd’s death, police brutality, COVID, and protest and national outcry’s, and if that wasn’t enough to digest the hook enticed me even more:

“It’s bigger than black and white

It’s a problem with the whole way of life

It can’t change overnight (nah)

But we gotta start somewhere

Might as well gon’ head start here

We done had a hell of a year

I’ma make it count while I’m here

God is the only man I fear”

 As a college instructor this would certainly be an “A” paper – and the video makes it an astounding A+…  Lil Baby took me on a ride through the last 8 months of life, and he painted this story perfectly.  If nothing else this song reminds us that it’s been “a hell of a year” this we can all attest, and like it or not this is a year try as we may, we will never be able to forget…and that’s ok hopefully it will be used as something we can all learn from either way I’m here for that too!

When it comes to music a good beat always sucks me in.  Case in point – Bounce music and Big Freedia.  Since Freedia’s tv debut some years back I’m a fangirl!  Perhaps its because I long to get my twerk game up even though my mirror practice reinforces that this will probably never happen, I’m so unbothered…practice makes perfect and at some point my moves will come through. 

Freedia recently released a song in only Freedia fashion titled “Rona-Rona,” a play on what else…Corona.  Throughout the song sis is reminding us to “Clorox-Clorox-Clorox” and that “this virus is vile, ya’ll, this is serious people.” And my favorite part in my Freedia voice “Germs everywhere,” all while minding my own business, twerking, and staying socially distanced.

So in your spare time take a listen to my picks, I guarantee you will be moved in some capacity if not by all three beats maybe one will stick.  Let’s keep shining and being conscious and socially aware, in times like these music really does matter. 

Until next time, Peace

Memorial Day

Today is officially Memorial Day.  To all our men and women who have given themselves selflessly for our safety and freedom I say "thank you!"  Special thanks to Andre Milton (HB) for your years of service.

A pop of color

Sometimes all it takes is a pop of color to brighten a outfit.  I much prefer subtlety instead of saturation.  Color is just one of those things where you don't need a lot however you can still make a statement. 

Be Intentional

In my former life I worked in Aerospace for 13 years and since have graduated to fashion.  Yes…I literally went from A to F but in a good way… 

Working in an environment where your days are filled with engineers, drawings and specifications, left brain thinkers and meetings day in and day out caused me to suppress the fashion and style side of me.  I conformed to a monochromatic wardrobe consisting of slacks, basic button downs, a black sweater and closed toe shoes.  This became my day to day uniform.  Very rare did I experiment with color it seemed most fitting to be a chameleon and blend in with my everyday surrounding of khaki Dockers, 501 jeans, and button down shirts.  

To set the record straight I was able to be fashionable on weekends and during my off-time, however I lacked the desire to try and incorporate that side of me into my 9 to 5. Eventually it got to the point that I put no thought into what I wore to work as long as it was clean and presentable…off I went for another day’s journey and another check mark for being present.  I’m not sure when it happened but my drab, no color; ill-fitting work attire somehow trickled into my personal life.  It wasn’t rocket science!  I had lost my way in the wardrobe department and I had no earthly idea how to recover it!    

It wasn’t until the company that I worked for downsized that I was able to take inventory of my wardrobe and get rid of half the contents of my closet.  I decided anything that resembled my prior profession or didn’t fit my body like it should deserved to go in the donation pile.  Going forth, I would only bring into my closet things that played well with each other, made me smile and brought me joy.    

So hence I got the idea to blog about style, as a way to encourage people to be Intentional about getting dressed and not surrender to their surroundings.  I’ve learned that it is never ok to forsake yourself or your style in the name of a career or whatever life throws your way.  We are all unique individuals and were not made to be chameleons in the name of style.  Why conform to the norm when so many others are doing that and scared to death to push the fashion envelope?  Unapologetically unleash whatever it is that’s holding you back.  The world awaits your arrival. 

Classic

I so love creating my own style.  And what better way than with a classic black skirt and a button down shirt...the possibilities are endless.

My reality

So today I venture into World Market in hot pursuit of a lamp for my office.  Although nice ones they had, nothing fit what I was looking for.  On my way out I find a bracelet in the clearance bin for $3.98.  Feeling like a champion I precede to the checkout in which the cashier recites my total…a whopping $4.31.  Digging ferociously for my money I realize that I’d changed bags and my money could be in a number of compartments.  Deciding to make it easier on the people behind me and not hold up the line I choose to use my credit card instead.  With receipt in hand I scurry to my car puzzled about the where a bout’s of my money.  Going through each compartment I finally locate multiple crumbled up one dollar bills and change to boot.  Thinking I could use a Dirty Chi from Starbucks with my findings I decide to head to Pier One as to not get distracted in pursuit of my lamp. 

Thanks to a slow driver in front of me I miss the light and while waiting patiently for the next one I notice a homeless guy a couple of feet away from me carrying a sign.  Without thinking I dig into my bag and hand him my crumpled bills minus the change in which he gladly accepts and thanks me kindly.  As I drive off I think to myself that I should have laid some guidelines about using the money for food purposes only.  And just as fast as that thought came it quickly vanished and I found relief in knowing that obviously his reality was not my own. 

As a Image and Style Expert I see things that move me to wanting to tell random people in random places about image and how first impressions still reign supreme.  The fact of the matter is their reality is not mine and when a person is ready to change then an awakening it will be.  Up until that point and as tough as it may be I’ve learned with or without my Image Consulting hat on it’s still up to the person to want to change…and in the event they choose not to it’s still their reality good bad or indifferent.  

Merry Christmas

Holidays are a time for family and fun.  Each year we do a destination Christmas...this year we brought our festiveness to the Omni Hotel in Dallas.  It's always nice to be in the presence of people that you care about even if you only see them once a year.